Anxiety, Depression, and Friendship with Jesus: Sharayah’s Testimony of Restoration
In this episode we dive deep into Sharayah’s powerful testimony of overcoming anxiety and depression through the transformative friendship of Jesus. Sharayah candidly shares her journey, from the weight of mental illness that once left her feeling isolated and lonely to discovering a life-changing relationship with Christ.
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Finding Freedom: A Journey from Darkness to Light
What happens when anxiety and depression make life feel unbearable? Is there hope for true healing? In this powerful episode of Sunburnt Souls, Sharayah shares her raw and unfiltered story—one of deep struggle, intense loneliness, and, ultimately, transformation through an intimate friendship with Jesus.
From a childhood marked by bullying and social anxiety to an encounter with God’s love that changed everything, Sharayah opens up about how faith became her anchor. She reveals what it means to walk with Jesus daily, trust in His guidance, and experience the kind of deep, meaningful friendships that go beyond the surface.
This conversation is for anyone who has felt isolated, battled mental health challenges, or wondered if God truly sees them. You are not alone.
Meet Sharayah
Dave Quak
So, welcome Sharayah
Sharayah
Thank you. Thanks, Dave.
Dave Quak
Sharayah—very cool name. Where does it come from?
Sharayah
It’s a Hebrew name, but my mum discovered it from an old Amy Grant song. It’s from 1980s Christian pop.
Dave Quak
Ah, okay.
Sharayah
Yeah, she loved it. And I have...
Dave Quak
It.
Sharayah
The song is called Sharayah.
Dave Quak
Yeah, I’ve heard you play it.
Sharayah
I’ve forced you to listen.
Dave Quak
I’m sorry, I do find it a little cringe, but God bless you, Amy Grant. She blessed a lot of people in her time.
Dave Quak
Yeah. Is she still alive?
Sharayah
I’d say so.
Dave Quak
She’s not that old.
Dave Quak
She must be in her 50s or 60s, right?
Sharayah
Like, 80s pop. She would’ve been in her early 20s then.
Dave Quak
She should be in her 60s, probably, at least.
Dave Quak
So she’s definitely still around. I can still feel it. Good on you, Amy. Shout out to Amy Grant.
Sharayah
Yes. So many good songs. And that’s where my name comes from. It’s a really good name. I love the meaning of it. I think it’s applicable to my life. It means "God is my friend and my song." So, yeah, it’s just...
Dave Quak
I like that you said it’s applicable to your life. Now, as you know, this is about faith and mental health and all things in between. Why don’t we start with that? So, how is it applicable to your life?
Do You Have a Relationship with Jesus? – What does it really mean to call God your friend?
Sharayah
Well, God is definitely my friend. Thank goodness.
Dave Quak
He’s not... Some people don’t feel like He’s their friend. You know, some people have many reasons.
Sharayah
Yeah, so many reasons. Well, one—He’s my ultimate provider. He’s always there for me. He’s always listening when I cry out, but He also calls me out on my crap. Like a good friend would, you know? Not just someone who’s a yes-man, but someone who’s like, "I want you to be the best version of yourself."
Sharayah
And so He’s going to encourage me to move in a direction or call me out of a place where it’s not healthy for me to be. Ever since I’ve truly met Him and known Him, He’s just been a great, yeah, a great friend, among other things. But yeah.
Dave Quak
Let’s stay on that for a second. Calling you out— not everyone loves that. So when a friend calls a friend out, that doesn’t always go well. Why are you up for it when God calls you out?
Sharayah
Well, sometimes I’m like, "I really don’t want to go down that road."
Dave Quak
I don’t know.
Sharayah
I just don’t want to stay the same person I’ve always been. I find that growth is an important part of being human, especially of having good faith. We’re not called to stay as we are. We’re called to grow and become more Christlike. Even in the secular world, you don’t want to stay who you were when you were 15, or who you were when you were 20, or even who you are when you’re almost 30. You want to become better and better as you grow.
Sharayah
And I think God is the ultimate guide in that. So, yeah, an important part of being someone of faith and someone who is a friend of God is being willing to accept that I do need to change when He calls me to change—even sometimes begrudgingly.
Sharayah
I hope to always move towards where He’s calling me.
Dave Quak
I love that. Yeah. Have you always known God?
Sharayah
No.
Dave Quak
Tell me about that.
Sharayah
I’ve always known about God, is probably the best way to put it. I grew up in a Christian home. My parents had faith. They met working at a Christian outreach center.
Dave Quak
Oh, nice.
Sharayah
Yeah, they’re beautiful people. I’m still, yeah, quite faith-filled. My dad’s probably less so these days—well, definitely—but we’re working on him. Praying for him.
Dave Quak
Praying Dad back in.
Sharayah
Yep, that’s it. So I grew up knowing a lot about God, knowing about Jesus, knowing about the church world and all that sort of stuff, but I tended to be quite cynical. I have to experience something for myself before I’ll really believe. So, I was probably that kid at church who could tell you all the answers about Jesus, could tell you all the answers about the Bible stories, and had a good grasp of understanding about the Bible and what it meant, but I didn’t really think it was real.
What is it like facing anxiety and depression from an early age?
I was diagnosed at about 12. I had a good, I had a call with my mum this week just because I was like, "Oh, I don't really remember most of my life." I think I've had this diagnosis, but I couldn't remember exactly when it was. But we were like, "I was about six when I got the diagnosis." And yeah, it stemmed out of some pretty intense bullying. And so I didn't know what real friendship was. I didn't have any good friends.
Sharayah: I definitely didn't understand the image of God as friend or anything like that either. And I kind of withdrew from church life. I didn't engage very well with other people, and I somehow ended up in high school getting involved in the youth group at the church that my mum went to and made some good friendships that really were quite encouraging of me.
Just as they basically accepted me as I was. And that was something that I hadn't experienced until that point, outside of my family unit. And so I kind of just got involved in church for the social aspect. Like, I would go to youth group, I would play all the games, and have all the fun with the friends. And then the talk would happen, and I'd sort of just tune out. Yeah, I would just be there, but not really quite there, you know?
And I think a big part of that was because I'd had such an intense experience at school, and it had been a Christian school too, and I hadn't had a great experience.
Dave Quak: That's where you were bullied at school.
Sharayah: Yeah. And so there were all these aspects of the faith that I was like, "Nah, not for me, I can't do that." And I was, yeah. So going to this youth group, and I think everybody kind of thought that I was a Christian because I was going regularly, I'd go to church and all that sort of stuff, and I would probably have said I was a Christian, but in hindsight, I didn't know Jesus.
I just knew the answers about Him. Yeah. And I got invited to go to a camp for— it was specifically not an evangelism camp. It was a discipleship camp. And so the idea was they would take kids who were already Christians and disciple them to disciple other people. Yeah. And here I am, completely not a Christian. Yeah, not a disciple, not really following God.
Just knew how to look like I was. Yeah. Had the front and all that. And I actually didn't want to go to this camp. I was super anxious about going and meeting new people. Like, I couldn't be in social situations or, yeah, where I had no control about knowing who was there. And like, even youth group, if I didn't know that one of my friends was going to be there, I just wouldn't go.
Yeah. Like, I had to have a safe person and I had to know what was going to happen and be aware. Or I was like, "I'm out of there." And my mum was like, "You're going to this camp." And I think it was partially because she wanted to work during the school holidays. And like, partially because she probably just had this hope that something would happen for me because she'd grown up going to camps and she'd had real great faith encounters at camps. And so I think she was praying hard that there would be something in that for me.
I remember being in the car and just crying because I was so anxious about being there. But yeah, dropped me off at camp, and lots of things changed.
Dave Quak: Okay. Yeah. Either way, you just smiled. Then this is a good chance. This isn't the camp where the bullying continues.
Sharayah: Yeah. So much. I was 15. And I should—I don't know how to segue into this. I was in a very, very low point when I ended up at this camp. Maybe a month or two before that, I had tried to attempt suicide. Okay. I'd taken a whole bunch of pills, and I had not told a single soul.
Sharayah: And I did them for another two years after, after this whole experience, probably even longer—3 or 4 years. Yeah. So I was really low. I wasn't loving life. I was ready to pace out. And yeah, I went to camp with nothing left anyway.
Dave Quak: Which is often a place where God makes us.
Sharayah: Right? Yeah. Like in the depths of our despair, He'll find us.
Dave Quak: Yeah, that's sort of the place.
Sharayah: Yeah. When I'm at the end of my rope, that's where.
Dave Quak: Yeah.
How Did You Start Moving Forward through Anxiety and Depression?
I had to kind of let go and let God... all these buzzwords. So I go to this camp, and I didn't know any of the leaders, which was the key anxiety point for me. I knew some of the campers that were going to be there. Some people from my church came along as well.
Sharayah: But I think I was the only girl too. So it was like the whole cabin with other people. Yeah, all the stress of that. It's...
Dave Quak: Actually, it is stressful because you've got to, like, change, get ready, sleep... all those things.
Sharayah: I think it was more the meeting new people. I'm still not great with that. It's not...
Dave Quak: That easy. At that stage, you've been living with anxiety for four years. It would have been taking its toll. And like you said, a month before, there was an attempt. So yeah, obviously, that’s a big step.
Sharayah: Yeah. Not a fine choice.
Dave Quak: Oh yeah.
Dave Quak: Mum's, we'll give it credit for the show.
Dave Quak: I give her plenty of credit. She gets plenty of credit for...
Sharayah: Yeah. Just met these people who had this joy that I hadn’t really experienced. My church was a beautiful church and really encouraging, but I just hadn’t seen people who were freely walking in the spirit. I hate to say that because you want to have the benefit of the doubt with people you love, who believe and love Christ.
Sharayah: But I just hadn’t seen joy like that. And so, after 3 or 4 nights, I walked through this week just completely terrified.
Dave Quak: And overwhelmed.
Sharayah: And confused, conflicted, like, "What am I doing here? I'm a fraud. I don’t believe in any of this. I can answer all your questions, but it’s not really deep inside me, and I don't really want to be..."
Dave Quak: Here.
Sharayah: On this planet, let alone here, in this space with all these happy people. I'm just like dead inside. And the last night, you know, the penultimate...
Dave Quak: Oh, yeah. But ultimately the build...
Sharayah: ...where they do all their big worship and everybody gets together and prays for one another. I just remember one of my ladies praying over me. I don’t remember her words, but I remember this feeling of absolute surrender. And I just thought, "Oh, I'm done." Like, I can’t keep going the way I am.
Sharayah: Then, just like this embrace. Really? Yeah. Literally, I felt like I was being hugged. And I’m not a physical touch person.
Dave Quak: Like, you don’t want a...
Dave Quak: Hug. No thanks. I’m good. I’m all good. But if you want a hug, I’ll do it for you.
Sharayah: But it was like an embrace.
Dave Quak: Yeah, a spiritual one.
Sharayah: Yeah, like real? She just had her hand on my back, sitting next to me, praying for me, and I really felt this embrace. I just broke. Wow. That completely just...
Dave Quak: Shattered.
Dave Quak: Like, weeping, bro.
Sharayah: Yeah, all of the things. Like every bit of anxiety, depression, and fear just poured out of me. I felt so loved, and peace came over me.
Sharayah: And like, joy. It was just indescribable.
Dave Quak: That’s cool.
Sharayah: The next morning at camp, we had this space where we shared testimonies of what God had done for us. I basically just got up and wept in front of everybody. This 15-year-old, just weeping that God had completely and radically changed me in a split moment.
Dave Quak: Yeah. Split moment.
Sharayah: And like, I wouldn’t say I was completely healed of the anxiety and depression, but I walked away from that camp a completely different person. And I would say, I still have moments of anxiety and moments of depression, but they no longer control me.
Dave Quak: Yeah, okay.
Sharayah: Like, but I'm no longer bound by those things. And though I may walk through moments of them, I'm free because I have that love, that embrace, that peace, and that joy that only God could give me.
Dave Quak: Wow.
Sharayah: Yeah.
Dave Quak: So when anxiety rears its head now, you don't take medication or anything like that? How do you fight it? What do you do?
Sharayah: I'll put a prayer in. Let's pray. Lots of prayer.
Dave Quak: I do sense you're a woman of prayer. You spend a lot of time in the Spirit, hey?
Sharayah: Yeah, I don't know, I think I'm... which is always prayer. Like, literally, I'll just be, like, driving, chatting with Jesus.
Dave Quak: So do you pray like, you know, "pray continually"? You're driving, praying with Jesus. But do you also have intentional moments, like, okay, I'm gonna stop right now?
Sharayah: And I'm fine. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Usually, that's when I'm with other people. They'll just say something, and I'm like, "Alright, let's pray for it. Yeah, let's do that immediately." But otherwise, generally, I'm just always chatting away to God. Like, I'll say, "Pretty flower, God, thanks, Jesus."
Dave Quak: Like that?
Sharayah: There's just always... just on.
Dave Quak: In His own way.
Sharayah: Yeah, I have to be, because otherwise, I just get anxious. I just remember, like, "Oh, I'm not in control. I don't need to be, because there is a God who is in control."
Dave Quak: Yeah.
Sharayah: And I might be anxious in this moment and I might be anxious for a little while, but I know that will pass because I know there is somebody who is way beyond this circumstance, and He's over it, and He's got it in the palm of His hands.
What’s It Like to Be a Friend of God?
Sharayah means "friend of God." Now, you've been around ministry in Christianity long enough, so you know how some people find it hard to relate to God as a father, especially those who've had hard fathers. Is it the same principle when you've had hard friendships, like you were bullied as a young child? Is it harder to relate to Jesus as a friend?
Sharayah: I'd say so.
Dave Quak: Is it a similar kind of relationship?
Sharayah: I'd definitely say so. I wouldn't say I have the best image of God as father either.
Dave Quak: Okay?
Sharayah: I mean, everyone has an... it doesn't quite, alright? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm always working on that one too. But yeah, definitely similar. Like, I don't think I had a real good friendship until my adulthood. Like, an actual solid friendship where it was not just, "What can you do for me?" Yeah. Where it is a give and take.
Sharayah: And now that I have good, solid friendships, I'm like, "Oh, okay." Like, I can see how I would not understand what it is to have a true friend in God if I'd never had positive friendship experiences. Which include, like, conflict, and going like, "Yeah, no, I don't like what you want me to do right now." "No, I don't like that you're asking me to do that." Yeah.
And sometimes I have to just, you know, be like, "Alright, I know you're right, but I don't want you to be right right now," and wrestle. And having friendships like that helps me understand how I'm responding to God the way I am, and why I'm struggling with the idea of Him as a good friend.
Dave Quak: It's a big change going from 11 to what happened at the camp and then into your adulthood. What changed then, going back to school after that camp? Was your outlook on life different? What happened?
Sharayah: Yeah. Shoutout to my mum again,.
Sharayah: She says I came home from camp like, not her child. Like, a completely different job.
Dave Quak: Yeah.
Sharayah: And, yeah, I don't know. I just... I kind of just embraced life as a Christian. Like, I still struggle with everything, like anxiety, depression. You know, I'm a teenager at that age. Like, it wouldn't be cool...
Dave Quak: Yeah, it's a confusing time.
Sharayah: Oh my gosh, it's so confusing. And, like, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I had some health issues and stuff like that as well. And I kind of just came home from camp and just was like, "I'm in." Like, "Yeah, God, you might..."
Dave Quak: Pull you down for it.
Sharayah: Yeah. And I just got involved in church a lot. I joined the worship team, started helping out in kids' church, just basically was doing everything I could. I was at every event that we had. Yeah. Yeah. Just, like, straight in, gung-ho. And then in year 12, I was like, "I don't really know what I want to do." I had some ideas and then I was really sick for like three months and missed a whole bunch of school and ended up not getting that at all. But, yeah, it kind of just led me to doing Bible college.
Sharayah: Yeah. And I wasn't upset about it either. I was like, "Oh, okay. Like, this is where we're going."
Dave Quak: Like, it was God's way guiding you into something.
Sharayah: A really good experience because the Bible College course I did was a gap year. And then I did three of the gap year programs.
Dave Quak: So, yeah, like the same thing three times?
Sharayah: No. So they had like, you do the first one, it was like a gap year thing. And then if you liked it, you could do the extended one. And then the third year, I was the pilot year for it. It was like the living experience.
Dave Quak: Oh, cool. Was that good?
Sharayah: Yeah. I lived in a retirement village.
Dave Quak: Like with all the elderly crew?
Sharayah: My first experience living out of home was in a retirement village.
Dave Quak: I didn't even know young people were allowed to live in a retirement village.
Sharayah: Oh, well, it was owned by the denomination.
Dave Quak: And I was... then. Right. And so it was the ministry directly to the elderly.
Sharayah: Yeah, to an extent. We did some... so we did like rotational type stuff. We served in like a low socio-economic area. There was like a cafe that was around to serve the needs of the people. So we would serve in that. We did like a rotation, hanging out in the nursing home, following the chaplain in the nursing home, and did like a youth rotation and a few other things just to get a bunch of experience across different ministry areas
Dave Quak: That's cool. Bit of a test and see as well. Yeah. Just, oh, check where your gifts lie.
Yes. What about now? Looks like with all that, I don’t want to hurry forward, but like, between then and now, you've obviously signed into discipleship. Like, you've grown deep in a couple of things. You've said you're not afraid of God telling you all, and you're not afraid of having friendships where you'll have the harder conversations.
Dave Quak: So, that's a mark of a proper disciple. Like, a lot of people would love to just stay on the surface level, you know, and would rather not have hard conversations and would rather not, yeah, you know, allow God even into the deepest places. And sanctification, let's go a little bit more on that. I know I asked you about it because you said, you know, you want proper friendships, but more.
Why Do You Prefer your Friendships to Go Beneath the Surface?
There is a big difference between shallow connections and deep, Christ-centered relationships. I don't want to know what you had for lunch the other week. That was really good. Like, I want to know how you're actually doing. Yeah, I think because I've had such a deep, broken experience, I want to see other people come out of that. Yeah. And I think when you have friendships, if you just stay surface, you don't know what's going on for people.
At that deeper level, you don't know how to pray for them or how to be. Iron sharpens iron. And like, I’m like, don’t... I don’t want just half of the gospel. I want to be part of the community that really honors and serves one another, even when it sucks. Even when you're going to say, "Wait, cut that out, like that's not on. Your behavior is not right right now."
One, it's not serving God, and two, it's not serving you. Like, yeah. And I want people to do that for me. Right? Yeah. And I can't expect that. Like, it's easy to... I like constructive criticism. So it's easy to say, "I want people to tell me when things are not going right." I want people to give me that feedback.
But what's harder is to do it for them. Yeah, but I can't expect someone to give me constructive criticism if I'm not willing to do that for them too. And so I have to enter that awkward space. Yeah. And the Bible's pretty clear.
Like, I know a lot of people say like, "Oh, we can't judge each other," but no, we are called to call each other out. Like, yeah, when we're in that deep relationship, we're supposed to be like going to one another, like, "I can see something in you that's not quite in alignment with Jesus, and I want the best for you. So, like, cut it out."
Dave Quak: Is there any stories you're able to share of that happening either way, whether it's to you or to somebody else? Obviously, you can feel free to change the names. We'll just... Or you can say, "My friend," if it's you, you know, but like...Oh, like, right.
Sharayah: Oh, so many times.
Dave Quak: Whether it's going well or not well, either way, because I think this is fascinating because a lot of people don't enter these spaces. I know, I know, I'm...
Sharayah: An enigma sometimes.
Dave Quak: Yeah. And if you're the person bringing it as well, like, I want to encourage people that it’s a good thing too.
Sharayah: So many times have I had people call me out on things, but I remember one that was really not a positive experience. Yeah, quite well and I was still a teenager at the time. I wasn't even an adult. I was at one of these camps of a big camp ministry person. So for it, I mean, once you...
Dave Quak: Yeah, once you got up to the camp, you just keep going.
Sharayah: And they would do one of the nights at this camp that I would go to every year. They would do, like, a youth band. And, I was obviously leading worship at my church. And so I'd be on the youth bed. Anyway, I went up to the guy who was organising all the stuff, and I was just excited, you know, like 17-year-old, like, "Oh, kind of be involved and to serve" and probably came to be on the stage.
Sharayah: Let's be real. Yeah. Not these days. And I said to him, I was like, "Oh, hey, like, are we... is it going to be a practice for the youth band? Like, what's, what's the plan?" And he was like, "Oh, arrogant of you to think that you're going to be really involved in that." And I'd been involved in it for a few years prior to that. And, at the time, I was like super hurt. And, it took me years. And I noticed this person for a long time. And I ended up one day saying to him, like, "Look, this really hurt me." And it was like, "I don't remember that."
Dave Quak: Oh, always the way they give you...
Sharayah: A way to engage in something that's... Yeah, said that has hurt. But like, I realized that I probably was coming from a place of arrogance in that. But at the time, like, that was such a negative way for someone to call me out. Yeah. But I've since had similar conversations with people where I've, I’ve had to call out their expectations. Yeah. And I used to work... and this is really... How do I work this.
Dave Quak: Fast and doesn't know what I'm talking about then.
Sharayah: I know they're never going to listen to this. Anyway, I was working as a kids and youth minister, ministry leader. I didn't have the title of pastor or anything. But I was running kids and youth ministry at the church I was at. And, a group of us had decided to start a playgroup and, I was obviously in charge because I'm the ministry leader.
And I had done a whole bunch of research. I collected all these ideas. I basically set out a term plan. And then we had our first meeting, and we had, a beautiful lady. Absolutely beautiful. Like, lovely, hot, but likes to be in charge all this time. And when we entered the room, I presented all of my ideas and plans, and I was asking for feedback and that I wanted them to feel like they had an involvement in it and that they could say, "Oh, I don't like that," or "I do like that."
And this lady, oh, God bless it, she is, honestly a beautiful woman, but she just was like, "Oh, I thought we were going to be planning this together." And just immediately, it was like offside about what I'd brought, like, like, I should have just come with nothing.
And she couldn’t control it all. And I just said, "Oh, I'm... I'm grateful that you want to, be involved. And I'm keen for your feedback, but I'm leading this ministry, and so I'm going to make decisions." And, and sometimes those decisions are just going to fall with me. And she actually took it really well. Yeah. I think I actually earned her respect in that moment.
Dave Quak: Yeah, yeah. Because the right person, it'll cement the relationship.
Sharayah: And later, yeah, we had a conversation one on one. And, she said, "Oh, thank you for your honesty like that. You are in like, you're the, the person." And I was like, "Well, because then God like is above me. But yes, I'm leading this ministry and I say I'm going to be the end point."
Sharayah: Like, I make the final decision. Yeah. And yeah, it was just... yeah, it was so interesting. And that was like the first experience where I kind of had to do that for someone a couple of generations older than me. As well.
Dave Quak: That's always a bit sketchy doing that for the first time.
Sharayah: Like 25, you know, it's like, "Oh man, this is going to, I don't know how to handle this person." And I think the Holy Spirit was just like.
Sharayah: But like, I get it. I'll say it till I die. If I'm expecting somebody else to do that for me, I really hope that the people I know and love who are in Christ would step up. There are a few of them who do, and I've got people who hold me accountable for recurring sins in my life.
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength."
— Charles Spurgeon
Sharayah: If I'm expecting other people to do that, I have to do that as well. I have to step into the discomfort of saying, "Hold up!" Out of a sincere place of love, I'm saying something in you that is not of Christ, and I want you to become more like Him, to have life abundantly, and be free from the things that shackle you. So, like, cut it out.
Dave Quak: Yeah, it is real love. Even just the way you're saying it and the spirit in which you're saying it, you want that from a friend. We're so inclined to avoid anything uncomfortable, which isn't unity. We talk about unity in the church and then want uniformity, where everyone’s exactly the same, doing the same thing. But true unity is about still having our own views and opinions, doing things differently, but being on the same team.
Sharayah: I was thinking about the image of the body of Christ—like, we're all different parts of one body. If your leg is kicking people down, are you not kind of like…
Dave Quak: Yeah, bro, come on, cut it. It's true.
Sharayah: We're not individuals anymore. No, we are part of something bigger. And when one part is not up to it—which I'm plenty of times, I'm that part that's not up to it—I need to be pulled into line by the rest of the body.
The Power of Accountability – Why real friendships require honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Sharayah: And unfortunately, it is our job to pull each other into line sometimes. It is.
Dave Quak: And I guess if we do it in love, and it works out, then the friendship is deeper, the lightness. But even if it doesn't, it's still the right thing to do, as far as it depends on us.
Sharayah: Yeah.
Dave Quak: Yeah, I’m like even the way that Jesus talks to the rich young man—like, sorry, mate, you’ve got to sell everything. You have to do this to enter the kingdom. And sometimes people are just not up for it.
Sharayah: Yeah. It's true.
Dave Quak: And they can be gung-ho, and the next minute, they're not.
Sharayah: It breaks your heart, but it's the reality of this life.
Dave Quak: I've got a friend whom God is using mightily in ministry. One day I saw someone give him some really rude, ruthless criticism. It wasn’t a correction like you're talking about—it was just rude.
Sharayah: There's a big difference?
Dave Quak: Yeah. And I went up to him later, and I asked, “Are you okay?” He didn’t even recognise what I was talking about. I said, "That guy was just super rude to you." He said, "Oh." I asked, "Why doesn’t it bother you?" He said, "Dave, I’ve been through this a million times. That guy's opinion of me? It's nothing." It was almost like the negative view you’re talking about. He had so many good people in his life who would correct him if he was wrong, so when someone tried to correct him and it was wrong, it just rolled off his back. He said, "This isn’t even God, so I’m not even going to listen."
Sharayah: Yeah, it just... it doesn't matter.
Dave Quak: There's that good side, but it’s annoying on the other side of the coin.
Sharayah: Yeah, if you know what it is to receive constructive criticism and that helpful feedback. You learn the Father’s voice when you hear it through your brothers and sisters in a way that is with love and comes from Christ. You learn when it’s not from Him.
Dave Quak: Yeah, I reckon you've got a good theology of friendship developing here. It’s got the fun sides, the enjoyment, the spacious love, the laughter, the meals. But it’s also got the real, the deep, the hard, and the challenging too.
Sharayah: Oh yeah.
Dave Quak: And I guess that's real friendship, right? Earthly friendship, godly friendship. At the moment, you’re not a married lady yet, so friendships are a really big part of your body of Christ ministry, right? So, Sharayah, you've been speaking about Jesus and friendship. Obviously, I acknowledge you've got a theology of friendship that I already like. How does that apply to 11-year-old Sharayah with anxiety and depression? What's the relationship between friendship and mental illness? Do you have any insights?
Sharayah: Yeah, I think friendship is definitely a really important part of coming out of a really negative mental health space—having people who know you deeply, who can speak life into you, and who can see when you're not doing well and engage in that space. The friendships I built, particularly once I came to know Christ, were key parts of keeping me on the journey of faith and keeping me out of the depths of my depression and anxiety.
They were the people who would call me up and ask if I was okay, or if I hadn't been at church, people who would celebrate my birthday with me—simple things like that. When you have anxiety and depression, the first thing the enemy uses is to draw you away from your friendships, to isolate yourself, and live in those places of sorrow.
But I think one of the main weapons God gives us is friendship—with Him and within the body of Christ. For me, when I know I’m getting depressed or anxious, I now actively engage in community. I push into social situations. But when I see my friends, who also suffer from mental health issues, start to pull away, I try to push in.
Dave Quak: And you can spot that?
Sharayah: Yeah, I can. I know what that looks like for me.
Dave Quak: Yeah. So, you consistently engage. I was going to say inject yourself… Yeah, you do. Right? You keep loving.
Sharayah: Yeah, I come up and say, “Oh, you're free? Let’s go get coffee.” I need someone to walk with me. Can you be present for me? Sometimes, people need to feel needed.: I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I know I can be present with the Holy Spirit and engage with God while I’m with my friend. “Alright, Lord, I need Your wisdom. I need You to speak through me right now. Be present with me.”
I need Your power right now because I don’t want to fall into my own depression because of somebody else’s. I don’t want to be overwhelmed by their situation and take it on for myself. I’m like, “Julie, be present. I’ve got you. I need You right now.” I’m just sitting in that space, asking the Holy Spirit, “Use me how You want to.” Often, I have to say, “Alright, Lord, I know You’re in control and more powerful than what's going on in this person.”
I can trust that I have the most powerful weapon against any sort of mental health issue, and that’s the Holy Spirit. God is with me right now, and I don’t need to be fearful. Fear might creep in, but I know I have that power to stand with me. I want everyone else to know that too. It can be daunting to love someone with mental health issues, and it can be daunting to be someone with mental health issues being loved by others. But when you have Christ, you have that gift of the Holy Spirit within you, whether you're suffering or sitting with someone who is.
“Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,’ can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”
We have that intimate friendship with God, and we can have that intimate friendship with other believers. So, we don’t need to be afraid of mental health issues. We have the authority to stand against them and walk in the power of Christ. That doesn’t mean we won’t suffer or that the people we pray for will experience immediate healing. God, hopefully, will heal them. But it means we can walk with mental health or people with mental health issues with confidence.
Dave Quak: Yeah, right. That was awesome. It's so good to hear your heart—not only from experience but also as someone who has and struggles with mental well-being, while also having a relationship with God and walking with both of those things. You mentioned before that when you need help, you'll inject yourself into someone else's life. Not everyone is at that point. How did you get to that place? Was it a matter of doing it once, and it was hard, but the next time got easier?
Sharayah: Yeah, pretty much. I’ve been very, very blessed to have lots of people who love me, who care for me, and who ring me up and inject themselves into my life. I know I can call people, and there are people I can reach out to who won’t feel burdened by me injecting myself into their lives. Because I’ve had such positive experiences with beautiful people who love Christ, I’ve exercised that muscle well enough.
How to Carry Each Other’s Burdens – The role of community in healing and discipleship
The first time always feels so much like, “Oh, this person doesn’t deserve my crap. They’ve got so much on their plate. They don’t need all of my extra junk.” But in Christ, we’re called to carry each other’s burdens and be with one another. And if the first person you go to doesn’t handle it well, then ask someone else. They’ll find someone to mentor you and walk you through it. There’s always someone in church or wise counsel. If it’s not just a friend, call the helpline.
Find a way to connect with somebody outside of yourself because when you're isolating, you're losing that gift of social friendship. We’re created in the image of God—God is three-in-one, and we are created to be social beings. When we isolate, we lose a part of ourselves.
Dave Quak: I think it's awesome that you still love the body of Christ—the church. Sometimes we do stupid things, and it’s boring or socially inappropriate. We say things we shouldn’t say. But it is a place where, if done well, we can foster great community—a connection point for people. A lot of people come to the coast, find it friendly, but don’t find any friends. They stay on the surface, but don’t go deep. So, if you're listening and you don’t have that, maybe give a church a try. It could work out.
Sharayah: Yeah.
Dave Quak: Yeah. You might face a bit of awkwardness. They might do that thing where they say, “Everyone stand up and say hi to five people around you.”
Sharayah: Snobbish.
Dave Quak: Yeah. Oh no. We’ll keep teasing that on Sunburnt Souls. But yeah. It’s been such a delight having you on. It’s a real joy to hear the story of someone whom God has been loving and showing His kindness to for a long time. Is there any last pearls of wisdom before you pray for us?
Sharayah: If you’re not quite sure if God is real or His love is, I just want you to know that it is. It’s right there, right now. He’s knocking on your heart. If you’re listening, He wants to come in and give you that embrace, to release you into peace, joy, and true friendship and community. I’m still a cynic at heart, and it takes me a lot to trust. But the one thing I know is that God is real, His love is real, and He’s right there for each and every one of us who open our hearts to Him.
Dave Quak: Amen. Well, why don’t you pray for us, Sharayah?
Sharayah: I’d love to.
Sharayah: Father, I thank you so much for the deep friendship that You've given me and the deep friendship that You want to give to each of Your children, to each of the wonderful people on this earth that You've created. Thank you that You are a God of love, of joy, of peace, of correction, and of grace.
Sharayah: I thank You for the testimonies that You've given so many people. Thank You that even though sometimes we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are right there with us. In the depths of our brokenness, You are right there beside us. Thank You that, yeah, You are just so, so good. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit that is always with us, giving us power and authority to walk in light, even when it's not easy.
Sharayah: I just ask that for each of the people listening right now, You would settle with them, bringing Your peace and Your light, that You would be present and whole in their lives.
Sharayah: Would You help us to know You deeper and deeper every day? In Your name, Amen.
Dave Quak: Amen. Thank you so much.
Dave Quak: Just get ready for my pleasure.
Dave Quak: Thanks again for tuning in to Sunburnt Souls. We really appreciate you guys, and thank you for all your support and love. This is a faith-based ministry, and if you ever feel like giving to the ministry, you can do so online. Don’t give if you feel obliged, but eventually, we've got to figure out some way to fund this thing.
Dave Quak: So, if you want to be a part of it, you can do so. Otherwise, God bless you guys. You’re champions, and may you have the most God-ordained, awesome week!
5 important questions about Anxiety and Depression
Can Jesus Help with Anxiety and Depression?
Yes, Jesus offers peace and healing to those struggling with anxiety and depression. In Matthew 11:28, He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” The Bible assures us that God's presence brings comfort (Psalm 34:18) and that casting our anxieties on Him brings peace (1 Peter 5:7). While faith is a powerful anchor, professional therapy and community support are also vital in the journey to healing.
What Does It Mean to Have a Friendship with Jesus?
A friendship with Jesus means walking in a personal, intimate relationship with Him. John 15:15 says, “I no longer call you servants... instead, I have called you friends.” This friendship is built on trust, daily communication through prayer, and relying on Him during struggles. Like any true friend, Jesus provides guidance, correction, and unconditional love, always calling us toward a deeper, more fulfilling life.
How Can Faith Help Someone Overcome Social Anxiety?
Faith provides strength and reassurance for those facing social anxiety. Knowing that God sees, loves, and values you (Isaiah 41:10) can build confidence in social settings. Engaging in Christian community, prayer, and scripture meditation helps redirect focus from fear to faith. Practical steps like Philippians 4:6-7—praying instead of worrying—can help manage anxious thoughts while seeking professional support complements a faith-based approach.
How Does God Bring Healing to Those Who Feel Isolated?
God brings healing through His presence (Deuteronomy 31:6) and the support of His people. Isolation can deepen mental health struggles, but God designed us for community (Hebrews 10:25). True healing often comes through authentic Christian friendships, accountability, and allowing others to walk alongside us. Taking small steps to engage in faith-based communities, church groups, or mentorship can break the cycle of loneliness.
Can You Be a Christian and Still Struggle with Mental Illness?
Absolutely. Struggling with mental illness does not mean a lack of faith. Many biblical figures, including David (Psalm 42:11) and Elijah (1 Kings 19:4-8), faced deep despair. God’s love and grace are not dependent on our mental state. Romans 8:38-39 assures us that nothing can separate us from His love. Seeking medical help, counseling, and spiritual growth are all part of a holistic approach to healing in Christ.
How to get help with faith and mental health
If you’ve been wrestling with mental health struggles or navigating the balance between faith and medication, Sunburnt Souls is here to remind you that you’re not alone. Through open conversations and shared stories, we explore hope and healing in the messiness of life. Visit sunburntsouls.com to connect with resources and listen to more episode. Subscribe here to continue receiving updates.
