How to Help Someone with Undiagnosed Mental Illness
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How to Help Someone with Undiagnosed Mental Illness: A Faith-Based Guide to Support and Healing
Are you worried about a loved one who seems to be struggling with anxiety, depression, or another mental health challenge—but refuses to acknowledge it? You’re not alone. Many people silently battle mental illness without realising they need help. Whether you’re a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend, knowing how to support someone with undiagnosed mental illness can be difficult, especially when they resist professional help.
At Sunburnt Souls, we understand the tension between faith and mental health. That’s why this guide offers practical, compassionate, and faith-based strategies to help you:
Build trust and start the conversation without pushing them away
Encourage professional help while respecting their autonomy
Set healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being
Pray for healing and breakthrough, trusting God in the journey
Mental health struggles can feel isolating, but no one has to walk this road alone. Whether you’re dealing with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, depression, or anxiety, this guide will equip you with the right tools to support, love, and guide your friend or family member toward healing.
If you're looking for Christian mental health resources, practical advice, and real stories of hope, subscribe to the Sunburnt Souls podcast and check out our Get Help page for professional support options.
Keep reading to discover seven life-changing ways to help someone who doesn’t yet see their struggle—and learn how to be the friend they need right now.
One question keeps coming up as I chat to people about mental health: How do I help my friend explore their mental health if they don’t think they need to? This is a tough one because mental well-being is complex. Maybe you suspect someone you love is struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe they’re missing work, acting out of character, or showing drastic mood changes. You might be their spouse, sibling, or best friend, giving you a front-row seat to the shifts in their behaviour.
But how do you help them see what they don’t yet recognise? And how do you do it in a way that won’t damage your relationship?
Let’s be honest: this can be a hard conversation to start. Mental health struggles don’t always feel like struggles to the person experiencing them. Someone in the early stages of bipolar disorder might feel fantastic during a manic episode. Someone with schizophrenia might feel like they have new insight. It can be confronting—even offensive—for them to hear that something might be wrong.
A great example of this is A Beautiful Mind, the film starring Russell Crowe. It follows a professor’s battle with schizophrenia, showing how, at first, he thought his world was opening up with new possibilities. But to everyone else, it was clear he was deteriorating. That’s the challenge: when mental health declines, it can be difficult to see it for yourself.
So how do you help someone recognise they need help? Here are seven practical steps.
The Power of Listening: The First Step in Supporting Someone with Mental Health Struggles
Trust takes time to build, and without it, your words won’t carry weight. Think of relational trust like poker chips: the more trust you’ve built, the more you can risk on important conversations. If you’ve invested in the relationship over time, you have the credibility to speak into their life. But if that foundation isn’t there, your concerns may feel intrusive rather than caring.
Start by genuinely listening. Engage in meaningful conversations, show up consistently, and create a safe space where they feel heard. When trust is strong, they’ll be more open to hearing your thoughts. Instead of making them feel judged or labelled, your approach should communicate care and support. Mental health conversations should be built on trust, not confrontation.
Building Trust: The First Step in Helping Someone with Mental Health Struggles
If you approach someone with an intervention-style confrontation, it’s unlikely to go well. Instead of charging in with, “You need help!” or “You’re not okay,” take a gentler approach. Ask open-ended questions like, “Hey, I’ve noticed you seem really stressed lately. Is everything okay?” or “I’ve seen a change in you. What’s been going on?” These questions invite conversation rather than shutting it down.
In Australia, we have R U OK? Day, which encourages people to check in with others in a non-confrontational way. That’s a good model to follow. People are far more likely to open up if they feel safe and supported rather than judged. No one likes to feel ambushed or labelled, especially when struggling.
A gentle approach also means being patient. If they’re not ready to talk, don’t push. Simply let them know you care and are there for them. Sometimes, planting the seed of concern is enough to help them reflect on their situation. Later, they might come back to you when they feel ready.
Above all, show kindness. Your goal isn’t to diagnose or fix them—it’s to offer a safe space where they feel seen and heard. When someone feels genuinely cared for, they’re far more likely to be honest about what’s going on and consider seeking help.
Be Present, Not Pushy: Offering Support Without Trying to Fix Them
People can tell when they’re being treated like a project rather than a person. Your job isn’t to fix them—it’s to walk with them. Mental health struggles aren’t like a broken leg where a meal and some rest lead to recovery in six weeks. Healing is often a long journey that requires patience, presence, and ongoing support.
The story of Job gives us a powerful example. After losing everything, his friends initially did the right thing—they sat with him in silence for a week, simply being there. But then they started talking, offering bad advice, and misrepresenting God. Their solutions didn’t help; their presence did. Sometimes, the best support isn’t in words but in simply showing up.
Instead of offering quick fixes like, “You should just pray more” or “Have you tried exercising?”, focus on listening and being available. Ask, “How can I support you?” or “Would it help if I checked in on you?” Offer to spend time together, help with small tasks, or just sit in their company.
True support isn’t about solving their problems—it’s about letting them know they’re not alone. Your presence and care can be the difference between someone feeling isolated and someone knowing they’re loved.
Encouraging Professional Help: How to Guide Them Toward Therapy or a Doctor
Unless you’re a trained psychologist or mental health professional, you’re not qualified to diagnose or treat your friend. But you can encourage them to seek help. The best place to start is their GP, who can assess their situation and guide them toward further support.
If you’ve had a positive experience with a doctor or counsellor, share it with them. Let them know that seeing a GP is confidential and that a good doctor will take their concerns seriously. Many people hesitate to seek help because they fear being judged or dismissed. Reassure them that professional support is about care, not criticism.
You can also point them toward trusted resources. Sunburnt Souls has a Get Help page with professional support options, which might make taking that first step easier. Offering to help them book an appointment or even go with them can make a huge difference.
Ultimately, seeking professional help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward healing. By encouraging them with understanding and practical support, you help remove barriers that might keep them from getting the care they need. Give them space to process. After having this conversation, resist the urge to check in every five minutes. This is a massive decision for them, and they need time to come to terms with it. Change has to be internally motivated, and they need to reach a place where they want help.
Praying for Someone with Mental Illness: Why It’s Powerful & How to Do It
If you believe in the power of prayer, this is where you lean in. Pray for their heart to be open to seeking help. Ask God to guide them to the right GP, counsellor, or support system. Pray that they have the courage to take the next step, even when it feels overwhelming.
If you believe in the power of prayer, this is where you lean in. Pray for their heart to be open to seeking help. Ask God to guide them to the right GP, counsellor, or support system. Pray that they have the courage to take the next step, even when it feels overwhelming.
Healing comes in different ways. Sometimes, it’s instant—like in my wife Jess’s case. Other times, it’s a journey involving medication, therapy, and faith. God is present in all of it. He walks with us through the valley, whether healing comes quickly or takes time.
You don’t have to tell them you’re praying if they’re not open to it, but if they are, offer to pray with them. A simple prayer can remind them they’re not alone. Even if they’re struggling to believe, your faith can be a source of strength for them.
Prayer isn’t a replacement for action, but it’s a powerful foundation. When we lift others up to God, we invite His presence into their journey. Keep praying, trusting that He is working in ways we can’t always see.
Setting Boundaries: Loving Someone Without Losing Yourself
Since starting Sunburnt Souls, I’ve had countless people reach out for help, mentorship, or one-on-one conversations. I wish I could meet with everyone, but it’s just not sustainable. If you give too much without limits, you risk burnout, which helps no one.
Supporting someone through mental illness is a big emotional investment. But remember—you are not their saviour or therapist. You’re their friend, and friendships need boundaries.
Setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re ensuring you can continue to offer support without being overwhelmed. Be clear about what you can and can’t do. Encourage them to seek professional help while letting them know you’re still there as a friend.
Loving someone well includes recognising your limits. Healthy boundaries allow you to support them while also protecting your own well-being.
Final Thoughts: Walking with Someone Through Their Mental Health Journey
I can’t guarantee this conversation will go well. It might be hard. It might be met with resistance. But it might also be the nudge your friend needs to take the first step toward healing.
If you’re supporting someone through mental health struggles, remember that you’re not alone. There are people and resources available to help—not just for them, but for you too. Setting boundaries, offering support, and encouraging professional help can make a real difference.
If this resonates with you, check out more resources at SunburntSouls.com You’ll find practical tools, stories, and encouragement to help navigate faith and mental health. And if you haven’t already, subscribe to the Sunburnt Souls podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.
Thanks for being part of this journey—see you next time!
Some helpful Questions and Answers
How Can Christians Support a Loved One Who Doesn’t Recognise Their Mental Health Struggles?
Supporting a loved one with undiagnosed mental illness requires patience, compassion, and wisdom.
Listen first – Build trust by creating a safe space for open conversations.
Ask open-ended questions – Instead of confronting, gently ask, “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed. How are you feeling?”
Encourage professional help – Offer to help them find a Christian counsellor or mental health professional.
Pray with and for them – Lift them up in prayer, asking for wisdom and healing (James 5:16).
Set healthy boundaries – Support them without sacrificing your own well-being.
What Does the Bible Say About Mental Health and Seeking Help?
The Bible acknowledges emotional struggles and encourages seeking help:
Jesus experienced deep sorrow – In Gethsemane, He said, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow” (Matthew 26:38).
God provides wisdom through others – “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).
Rest and renewal are essential – “Come to me, all who are weary… and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Seeking professional help, including Christian counselling and medical treatment, aligns with biblical wisdom.
How Can Prayer Help Someone Struggling with Mental Illness?
Prayer is a powerful tool for those facing mental health challenges:
Interceding for healing – Pray for God’s strength, peace, and wisdom (Philippians 4:6-7).
Asking for guidance – Pray for clarity in seeking the right help.
Offering to pray with them – If they’re open, praying together provides comfort and connection.
Trusting God’s timing – Healing may come through prayer, therapy, medication, or a combination.
What Are the Signs of Burnout in Christian Ministry and How Can It Be Prevented?
Burnout in ministry is common but preventable:
Signs of burnout:
Emotional exhaustion and cynicism toward ministry
Loss of passion for preaching, teaching, or serving
Physical fatigue and health problems
Spiritual dryness and disconnection from God
Prevention strategies:
Set clear boundaries and schedule rest (Exodus 20:8-10).
Seek mentorship and accountability partners (Proverbs 27:17).
Prioritise time with family and personal worship.
Take a sabbatical when needed.
How Can Churches Better Support Christians with Mental Health Struggles?
Churches play a vital role in mental health support:
Normalize conversations – Teach that faith and mental illness are not mutually exclusive.
Provide pastoral care and resources – Offer Christian counselling, support groups, and prayer teams.
Encourage a culture of rest – Remind leaders and members to prioritize self-care.
Teach biblical perspectives on mental health – Address common misconceptions and encourage seeking help.
Foster a welcoming community – Ensure those struggling feel safe and supported within the church family.
How to get help with faith and mental health
If you’ve been wrestling with mental health struggles or navigating the balance between faith and medication, Sunburnt Souls is here to remind you that you’re not alone. Through open conversations and shared stories, we explore hope and healing in the messiness of life. Visit sunburntsouls.com to connect with resources and listen to more episode. Subscribe here to continue receiving updates
